Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
