If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize