Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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