She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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