Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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