woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
