well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
