Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
