Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
organizing the empties. That sober.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
