fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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