I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
