Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
