they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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