if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm like, not good at living.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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