currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
