I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
