Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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