Only a mothe r could love this liver
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
