Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Say something about gay babies.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
