After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
