how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
