Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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