my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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