Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
