I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I party with great urgency now.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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