I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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