I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
