It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
