I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
