I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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