i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
