Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
