i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish I only lived at night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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