I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
