Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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