O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
