shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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