Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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