Ambien. No doubt about it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just want nice things and good sex
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
