just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
