I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
