Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
