nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
