who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
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You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
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But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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