put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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