I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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