I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
