farters have to be the big spoon...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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