I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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