Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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