So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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