she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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