Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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