I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
