turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
