I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
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like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
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You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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