Your tits are I can't wait for
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
