Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
