My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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