Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
