I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
