Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
