Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize