dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
