yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
