I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize